Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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