Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
