i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
