you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Randomize