I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
