good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
