Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
