we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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