the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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