I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
