I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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