final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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