she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
