I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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