Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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