There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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