Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
