Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
