he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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