No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
