I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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