but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
