My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize