i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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