Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They are going to name an STD after you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
