'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
