you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
