It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
