In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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