Yo dont text me then not text me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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