And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
