I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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