apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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