I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
