your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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