Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And then my night got REAL pukey
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
