so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
