even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
