The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
