Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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