oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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