I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
