very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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