I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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