I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
