Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
