If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
