I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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