Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
