We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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