did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
