pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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