Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize