I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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