He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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