we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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