she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
