I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
